Mental Health - Shruti Chawla

They say we emerge from Mother Nature and ultimately our end is with Mother Nature. For a soul yearning to connect to the running beach waves kissing the feet like crystals of salt healing them, to connect to the glossy downpour dews making hasty attempts at becoming a River God, to connect to the bristling winds, creating a diva in a photoshoot; how could that soul sit in four walls, stare at the same ceiling for months and months along?

Well, that was the soul of a 17-year-old me oblivious of what future beheld. The heartbeat rose, adrenaline wanted to show its ferocity and the body wanted to dance but shook so painfully. Anxiety, they say, sucks the soul out of you; but imagine this happening every day, for weeks, for months and now for years.

You can't stop an adventurous spirit. Now imagine learning that even with a book in hand and a stride so confident, you are coming back to a place you started from. For days starting from the lockdown, I had no energy to move from the warmth of my bed. I used to have Maggi every day to reward myself for withstanding those days. I used to let everything bother me, from the tick of the clock to the pick of the guitar. Every day felt like a life-age to me. I found solace in Spotify, Wattpad, and my thoughts.

Well, turns out I'm not even safe from my own thoughts. Scenarios turning into what could've or to a point, couldn't even happen, was an ordinary stance my brain thought I needed to know. Nevertheless, I combated them, let those thoughts know that if the future is uncertain, the possibility of having a better one is just equal to the bad one. How this could calm me is still a surprise to me but it made me realize how important I am to me. Putting myself before anything else is the core of the solution.

A possibility of going out and reopening the world put a stop to those thought , they want to just touch the sky and feel its colors takeover. I wanted to fly like a unicorn in those giant fluffs of raindrops.

2020 & 2021 made me cherish my thoughts, my anxiety, my restlessness, and my hopelessness. For every underpass, there always comes a time to see the sunshine and sunshine is what I saw.

Taking help and helping in return made me realize how insignificant those thoughts I still keep holding on to are. The secret? Know that your brain is the universe of what you know and your heart is the cavern of what you feel. If your brain tells you to feel hopeless, tell it that this isn't its job. The fight with the demons might be hard but never impossible. Hold on, better things your way!